It’s almost Memorial Day, the unofficial official start of summer! Are you looking forward to soaring temperatures and the consequent public display of flesh?

By

Lynn Yeager

Columnist

categories: Column + The F Word

article tags: Alexander McQueen, Comme des Garcons, Ines de la, Junya Watanabe, Madewell, The Parisian Guide to Chic, Vogue

The far-too-much information of imperfect human bodies (secrets that were formerly only revealed to a doctor or a lover) that now assault you as you go about your business on the city street? Or are you too busy worrying about your own sartorial shortcomings to take any notice?

Cheer up! Just follow our handy, if admittedly rather eccentric, guide to getting ready for summer:

1. First off, it’s almost time to do some serious shopping! In about three weeks department store price-slashing begins, though in fact it is already underway at the many sample sales around town. In fact, we made a killing at the extraordinary Comme des Garcons sale only last week. (Well, let’s hope we made a killing, it remains to be seen whether we’ll wear some of this stuff.) And to make your shopping that much more satisfying, why don’t you,

2. Face the fact you will never lose weight and just buy the next size! This will save you a lot of unnecessary fitting room anguish. To To gladden your heart even further (or maybe not) we noticed at the Comme sale—where to try things on you had to strip down on an actual stage—that even super-skinny young women who look gorgeous in everything have cellulite.

3. OK, do we all agree we are looking for something comfortable and cheap but also completely cool? Consider channeling your inner McQueen by adding a bit of tattered tartan or a skull-printed scarf to your wardrobe. (Don’t bother with the wildly priced McQueen store on 14th Street in the Meatpacking District; just purchase this item from a vendor on St Marks Place, a gesture that the young Lee McQueen might have appreciated.) Wear these tributes when you hike up to 81st Street to view Savage Beauty, the Met’s Costume Institute’s McQueen retrospective. (Full disclosure: I meant to review the exhibit this week, but spent two full days at that Comme sale instead. Will write about it soon, I swear.)

4. Can’t see yourself dripping with plaid-inflected skulls? Take a page out of the book of the delightful Ines de la Fressange, who in addition to being a Chanel model, the face of Marianne, symbol of France, and other stuff you will ever be, has just authored The Parisian Guide to Chic. I interviewed de la Fressange for the April issue of Vogue, and here is the best thing she told me: When you are shopping for inexpensive clothes (she loves Monoprix) buy everything either way too small (think children’s department) or far too large (go to the men’s area.) This will make an ordinary cheap sweater look either gamine and charming or loose and louche. Not convinced? Well, it works for her anyway.

5. One last suggestion: forget the craniums and the clothes that don’t fit and strike a classic nautical theme, even if you’ve never been near a boat in your life. You don’t have to buy one of Junya Watanabe’s anchor-printed extravaganzas (at least not until they show up at some future Comme sample sale). The new Madewell on lower Fifth will provide an extremely interesting variation on the traditional Breton sailor shirt, here offered in an oddly appealing ombre version. Add a pair of striped Madewell espadrilles and finish it all off with white cropped cargos, or even shorts or a tiny skirt just long enough to conceal that inevitable cellulite.